If Trump Wins, I’m Leaving

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You must have heard the recent declarations made by the great and the good to abandon the United States if Donald Trump wins on November 8th, right?

Well, we’ve compiled an A List of properties that will be available free of charge to anyone who fancies moving to Trump’s America after the election. Read More

Here they are in no particular order of arrogance:

1. Miley Cyrus’ $5 million Ranch near L.A. We hear that Venezuela is a great socialist alternative, but we can’t promise they won’t eat her. Read More

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Full Details

2. Barbara Streisand’s oceanfront estate near Malibu worth an estimated $60-$100 million. Ideally situated to enjoy the Big One. Full Details

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3. Spike Lee (where the fuck is he going to go? He get’s tummy ache if he leaves New York). But he does own a rather nice $32 million townhouse there.

Actually it looks a bit shit in comparison to the others, but Full Details available none-the-less.

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4. Lena Dunham (now we’re getting somewhere). Rumour has it she lives in a very expensive shoe with her sister, but actually she lives in a $4.8 million Brooklyn apartment. Full Details 

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5. And Whoopi Goldberg. When she’s not helping to suck Satan’s cock on The View, the Hillary sycophant and Predator look-a-likee can be found residing at Dear Lodge Estate in Santa Barbara. Yours for nothing once she’s left on November 9th.

Deer Lodge | Santa Barbara, CA | Luxury Real Estate

Also on the list: Samuel L. Jackson; Cher; Jon Stewart; Raven Symone
Natasha Lyonne; Omari Hardwick; Chloë Sevigny; Eddie Griffin; George Lopez
Al Sharpton; Neve Campbell; Rosie O’Donnell & Chelsea Handler.

I don’t know where they think they are going; probably Canada, but we’re full! We don’t need anymore foreign investors pushing up house prices further.

Just fill up the pool with your liberal tears, and don’t forget to leave the keys.

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