The Fash Mark: Right Wing Crypto-Currencies Enter the Market

 

 

As Crypto-currencies continue their meteoric rise, today saw the launch of the first politically driven crypto-currency, the Fash Mark.

As the name suggests, The Fash Mark is a right wing currency created to capture the political & economic will of a growing number of people across Western societies who wish to invest in crypto-currencies ethically.

Unlike Bitcoin, which employs complicated algorithms to ‘mine’ for units, leaving behind open pits and a large environmental footprint, the creators of the Fash Mark claim they are have been able to create units of currency from collecting all the liberal tears and melting snowflakes of 2016 in vast reservioirs, before forcing them at high pressure into hydro-electro pumps, which then churn out environmentally clean fascist crypto-currencies: Fash Marks.

The people behind the Fash mark are reported to have made their fortune during the great Meme War of 2016, after which the bottom fell out of the liberal tears & melting snowflakes market.

In an interview with Rolling Stone magazine earlier this month, founder Otto Skorzeny said:

‘After the election of Trump, there were parts of California that had’t seen rain in months that were suddenly a foot under water with liberal tears. In the past companies had collected them to sell as an assault rifle lubricant, but the sheer volume we saw on November the 9th was a strain on the sewage system.

I realized that the salty bitch tears of progressives was perfect for the hydro electro-turbine I had been working on for creating an environmentally sound crypto-currency.’

When asked how many Fash Marks will be created, Skorzeny gave this reply:

‘We haven’t set a limit; it’s down to how many tears and how much melting snowflake water is produced and can be collected. Basically the more liberals and the left whine and bitch, the more Fash Marks will be created.’

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